Family Portrait – AM Journal Entry

the red door opens
the broken latch
pushes back and
thumb cries to be
looked at. it is blue.
the blue that blankets
the air at night when
father turns on all
the lights and is looking
for his lighter, he thinks
we hid it from him again.
He pushes our mattress
upwards, with our bodies
still on them, his god-
dammits are growing
louder and mother locks
herself in the bathroom
because the chinese has
taught her this, there she
pulls at her fingers, a guilt
massage, accupressure and
prayer, sister does not move
face still pressed in the carpet,
safety in white comforter, she
closes her eyes and keeps on
sleeping, little brother is whimpering,
I am not old enough to be by his side.
Father’s fist is punching the walls
punching the mattress, punching
christmas in the face and summer
is preheating inside our hearts.
Family portrait is the red latch,
the blue thumb, the white paint
coating the walls as if it never
happened.

(c) Sam Roderick Roxas-Chua